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Many women, like my client Katie, develop a birth plan that outlines their hopes and dreams for their perfect birth experience. Often this serves as a guide to a birth that is completely aligned with their hopes and dreams. Sometimes, however, things do not go to plan, which can result in sadness, disappointment and self-doubt. Despite her plan for a calm and peaceful home birth, Katie had a difficult and traumatic birth experience which resulted in an emergency C-section. Her son was healthy, but the birth was chaotic and frightening, and Katie ended up feeling that somehow she failed, that her body failed, and that she did not give her first baby the birth that he deserved.
I met Katie about 8 weeks before she was due to have her second baby. She reported that she has flashbacks to her previous experience and thus finds herself with feelings of anxiety around the upcoming birth. Additionally she feels a sense of guilt about having a C-section. As with many women, she is her own worst critic and in th
I look around at people boarding the plane. I feel fear. I click my seat belt. I feel fear. The door closes and that means I am trapped. I know I can’t leave now. I feel fear. The plane taxis and accelerates. I feel fear. I wait for turbulence to happen. Sometimes it does .. sometimes it doesn’t. I feel fear as I wait.
These are things that my client said to me when she came to me to help her with her fear of flying. She wanted to take trips - with her husband, her family, her girlfriends. But she was afraid. She acknowledged that she wouldn’t make a hotel reservation let alone a plane reservation - because that act meant that the trip was real. Even thinking about making a reservation gave her emotional intensity. She said that her girlfriends stopped inviting her on girls weekends if the trips involved flying - they didn’t want her to feel bad. Trips to see family far away seemed out of reach because driving would take too many days.
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